Recently I made online friends with a woman who blogs about sex - very adventurous, kinky sex. We both share an interest in writing, and writing about our own (partnered and non-partnered) sex lives.
In a recent post, I was quite shocked to read how she was just starting to explore the art and supreme awesomeness of solo masturbation. She revealed how she felt guilty, to pleasure herself without her partner (though she had his full blessing) and that her puritan upbringing made her severely uncomfortable with the mere idea of masturbation. Her experiences so far have been gratifying, but still awkward and she's trying to grapple with why she feels this way and be comfortable exploring her own body without someone else present.
This was shocking to me because, well, I seem to be her polar opposite. Just as she is extremely experienced and confident and comfortable with partner sex and the many kinks that can be explored with another person, I am fantastically enthusiastic about my own private (VERY private,
hah) sex life. But partner sex? Kinda freaks me out right now. I have recently figured out why - related to bad experiences that I will get into in a later post. Dating and relationships in general freak me out, so I'm sure those issues are related too. But then I see this confident experienced woman, and it bowls me over to realize not
everyone is as
gung-ho about masturbation as I am.
A related thought: I find it supremely weird that I feel less horrified at the thought of my roommates overhearing partner sex than solo sex. I honestly don't know why. Maybe because partner sex is less frequent (in my experience anyway) and there's an element of "Good for you!" pride. And I'm sure the shame that surrounds masturbation affects my attitude. Partner sex is definitely more valued and tolerated, and this makes me sad. Masturbation really is important, and absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.
Now if only I had the same attitude about partner sex. :)
